Ryan K. Hough

Freedom from Self Sabotage and Mindset Coach

Self sabotage occurs when you play small. When you limit yourself before someone else can. You do this because the story you tell yourself is to remain safe, to fit in, to be obedient, to do what the tribe does. This story becomes a program. It becomes an automated program running in the background keeping you with the familiar. This program has a dormant trigger detecting anything unfamiliar by cutting you down to size. Familiarity is safe. To stand out from the tribe and be an individual, is to create a target on your back. So we opt to thwart and sabotage our forward momentum in favor to fit in.

We all have the ability to create a story. As an actor I learned techniques to compose imagined realities. I learned to use my stories to design an inner monologue that fit with my objective that aligned with the script. The goal was to make it feel real. The more real, the less of an impostor I would feel. The less “acting” the more authentic the production. I learned that I did this naturally in life. We all do. We all have a narrative we tell ourselves. It begins with our thoughts. Our thoughts form our words. Our language establishes our emotions. Our feelings spawn our demeanor. Our posture leads to our activity. Our actions lead to our beliefs and ultimately construct the values we live by.

What story are you telling yourself?

The story you tell yourself will dictate your beliefs. So what is informing your thoughts?

Is it the company you keep? Is it the content you consume?

Does our environment dictate our inner monologue?

Our subconscious minds #1 job is to keep us safe. It keeps us safe by scanning and identifying the repetitive programming in our environment. It informs us of what is safe and appropriate behavior to fit into the current tribe. It only takes two repetitions of input for our subconscious mind to mimic. Think about it, anything that is repeated will trigger the subconscious to identify the repetitious behavior as normal and “safe.” The repetition of alcohol and drug use in media. Advertisements of sugar, the family patterns of over eating or codependent relationships. The subtle or overt programming of promiscuity. The cultural conditioning to be the “nice guy/good girl” or our political polarization leading to unhealthy boundaries and victim mentality.

These are just a few examples that can be the catalyst to our own self sabotage.

The question then becomes …

Are we writing
our own script?
Is there a ghost writer that’s
sabotaging the narrative?

Does your story require editing? Begin with awareness.
Know that you have the ultimate power to
edit your own story.